This is For You James!

For James :0)
Okay, here's a very, very special interview for James. This is Bob, Frank, Joe, Earl and... da da da, FRED live on speaker phone from South Dakota!

Joe: what should our subject be?
Fred: Listen, I don't care. It doesn't matter, I'm the famous person who gets interviewed. Hold on, I'm gonna hit a truck. Whoa, that was close.
Bob: Hold on! You gotta talk slower.
Joe: So just talk r-e-a-l s-l-o-w.
Fred: O-k-a-y. Ask me a question.
Joe: How was the wedding?
Fred: It was good, okay, listen. It was happy. I've never been to a wedding before and it was happy. So good. It makes me wanna get married now. It's a huge bucket of hope.
Bob: Any prospects on getting married?
Fred: Well, there's Olivia Newton John. But she hasn't called me back.
Earl: Who else?
Fred: I'm not givin' any names. Listen, I'm not getting married. God's wrath. The wedding was good. I drank some Diet Vanilla Coke. I made roast beef hash. It was good.
Joe: We went to Burger King and made the most noise in a restaurant ever.
Fred: Could the restaurant hear me on the phone?
Joe: Yes.
Fred: Good. Good. Okay, so you know I work with cows?
All: yes.
Fred: Well, I'm freakin' scared of them now.
Joe: Why?
Fred: Cause I got freakin' nailed by one in Greenland. The cows are not normal in Greenland. "Did you go to Quincy for your mission trip?" "NO! I went to Greenland!" "Green Patures?" "No, not Green Pastures. Greenland."
Bob: I'm getting eating alive by gnatts.
Fred: Why?
Joe: We're in the car becaus we were charging the phone, but now we don't need to charge it anymore, but we're still sitting out here beause we're lazy.
Anthony: We're eating stale crackers.
Fred: Man, stale crackers were a hot item at camp.
Joe: We were talking about how you wouldn't put cheeseits in your soup.
Fred: But then I changed my ways.
Joe: That's right.
Fred: I'm pretty much never giving Justin pringles again. I'm pretty much gonna crack his skull.
Joe: I'm gonna choke on my stale crackers now.
Frank: They're not stale.
Joe: They're just off-brand. Okay, Fred, Earl was trying to tell you about crackers and she spewed crackers everywhere. It was awesome.
Fred: This is the interview. Ready?
Joe: Okay, go.
Fred: Wait, I forgot. I had something but I forgot it. Oh yeah. Hey, I'm gonna dye my hair purple.
Joe: NO!
Fred: I'm not gonna dye it. I'm gonna highlight it purple.
Bob: How do you highlight purple?
Earl: You would look like Barney.
Fred: you remember when he drew that tatoo fish on me and put her name inside it?
Joe: yeah, who DOES that?
Fred: He said she couldn't resist.
Fred: tell Ed about my sweet pants I bought.
Joe: Okay, so Fred bought these pants, he was going to play at a kid jail, and he didn't have pants to wear so he had shorts and the guard was like, "You need to have some pants to wear."
Fred: And I was like, "do you want me to crap some?" and they were like, "no, go to walmart."
Joe: And then you got those pants that were brown and butt tight.
Fred: they were so tight.
Joe: they're brown and like, polyester.
Fred: Do you remember the peach crate that I had? I have one in my room and it's awesome. I'm touching it now. It's like two shelves. It's like killing two birds with one stone. Like a 2 for 1 sale. 100% profit.
Frank: I think we get it.
Fred: Hold on, I'm watching a video.
All: WHAT?
Fred: Hey are you there? Okay, I'm gonna watch a video. And it's like a music video. Like, one song long. Do you know The Bee Gees?
Joe: YES! I love them.
Fred: Apparently it's pretty good. There's this guy with a moustache and it's 100% fake.
Joe: Tonight we were talking about Little Fred's molestache.
Fred: You were talking about Little Fred?
Joe: Yeah, and how he shaved it off.
Fred: Yeah, he did have a molestache. watching movie- Hey, is that a girl or a boy?
Frank: That's not good if you can't tell.
Fred: This is pretty stupid. Let me give you the lowdown. There's this stage and a girl dancing on stage and there's this coreographer directoring them and he's got a killer molestache and now they're all eating peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches. And now this guy walks in and he's got somethin' stuck to his molestache. Oh, it's great now. Okay, what's up with the interview?
Joe: Bob's been typing everything you said.
Fred: Oh, that's really good. Oh, it's like, you know that game on your computer where Mario teaches typing? I used to play, but only for like five minutes cause I would get [mad]. (filter)
Joe: I think Bob played for like, hours.
Fred: Mario filters my filter.
Joe: Did you take your filter off? because you were doing real good at camp.
Fred: Yeah, I still have it. It's a good one. I was talking to Chaim and he was like, "you have a kidney disease. " Do you know what kidneys are? They're like a filter. He said it was cause my filter wasn't working.
Joe: Yes, we know.
Fred: Do you know what I did today? I worked for 8 hours in the sun welding and cutting and grinding.
Joe: That's hot.
Earl: That's why you have such big muscles.
Fred: It's not the same sun that it is in Greenland.
Joe: Cause we're closer to the equator.
Fred: etla ema eesa ourya unkyfa amptera?
Joe: I said, "Let me see your funky hampster!"
Fred: etla ema eesa ourya unkyfa amptera?
Joe: I said, "Let me see your funky hampster!"
All: I said, mmmch, ah, ah, ah, mmmch, ah, ah, ah,...
Fred: I wore my Camp Okawana jacket today.
Joe: How is that possible, it's so hot?
Frank: Would you rather sweat and look good or be cool and not?
Fred: I went to the wedding in it with my polyester pants.
Bob: i really want a jacket.
Joe: I think she needs an orange one because the missing orange one is hers.
Fred: Listen, you can have mine.
Bob: No, that's okay.
Fred: It doesn't have my name on it.
Bob: wait, does everyone have their names on it?
Joe: No, it just says "Camp Okawana '05"
Earl: No, that's why you can have it. Cause it doesn't have his name on it.
Bob: i'll borrow it in December.
Fred: Yes. December. I need everyone's attention. "Something September".
All: What are you talking about?
Fred: "Something September." [pause.] For a band name.
All: Ohhhh.
Joe: Is it for your new band? Is it pretty much gonna happen?
Fred: yeah, it's gonna be good. We're gonna be recording pretty soon. I think we should have our CD for next summer. We've already come up with some songs. But I don't really know any of them.
Joe: You're just the drummer.
Bob: Oooh, I want a CD.
All: Ya tozhye.
Joe: I wont that.
Bob: Do you have anything to say to Ed?
Fred: Ed, stay away from cows, jellyfish and hedgehogs. Stay away from the mean three and you'll do fine. Oh, and something else. I love you. Can I say that?
All: yes.
Fred: I love you. And I'll text message you if you have a phone. I mean, I'll give you the "TM". "TM" stands for "text message" in case you didn't know.
Joe: Yeah, we know.
all: we love you Fred.
Fred: ewa ovela ouya dea!!!!
All: We love you, Ed!!!!!!


Ed, you're the best! We love you!
oodga uyba!